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The Quest for Crop Top Worthy Abs

June 14, 2013

So, in light of all the abbreviated shirts floating around the market (with no end in sight) I decided a fitness post was necessary. After all, you want to make sure your stomach is worthy of your crop top and there’s really no hurt in flipping the tables and making sure that your crop top is worthy of your beautiful stomach.

I am no fitness expert, however, I do have access to the World Wide Web which is chocked full of fitness experts. I have rounded up what I felt was the most useful and accurate advice and will now pass it on to you (you’re welcome).

The Commandments of Beautiful Abdominals:

1) Thou shalt not forget cardio

2) Thou shalt exercise thine abdominals

3) Thou shalt be a picky eater (and drinker)

And here’s a breakdown of the commandments (which is stuff you probably already knew)

1) Thou shalt not forget cardio: What’s the point of having rock hard abs if they are, well, covered in layers of flab? Running, jogging, stair mastering, and other cardio exercises are imperative to helping loose overall weight and keep your body at a healthy size. Just do it. Nobody ever died from just jogging a mile.

2) Thou shalt exercise thine abdominals. Duh. That’s the point right? Here’s a great image I found on Pinterest:

https://i0.wp.com/media-cache-ak2.pinimg.com/originals/42/f9/0b/42f90b30cc59ff1aa00767c2ceda29f6.jpg

I like how you know exactly what it’s working. You don’t want to spend your time doing just crunches when you really should be concentrating more on your lower abs. I also like how these are all really basic exercises you can do in your spare time at home. Technically the most effective ab exercises are the bicycle crunch, captain’s chair, and core ball…so, if you just had a baby or something, check those out. For all the rest of you who are looking to tone up for an event you call daily fashion in my crop top, not the biggest loser or a body building competition these exercises will work just fine.

3) Thou shalt be a picky eater (and drinker). This isn’t rocket science either. When you eat lots of salty, fatty, sugary foods you get bloated (and eventually put on weight) and a bloated belly is not cute. So for the sake of all that’s good, eat your veggies, cut back on your salts, and drink a lot of water. It’s really not that hard. Just remember this other little thing I found on Pinterest:

https://i1.wp.com/media-cache-ec3.pinimg.com/originals/30/c7/c5/30c7c5e7b17890b368f91bd2b6179f97.jpg

 

And there you have it. With a little bit of discipline, you can look like this: (This chick needs theme music, does she not?)

Photo from Vanessa Jackman

That’s all. I now release you into the world with a mission of good diet and exercise in the name of Fashion.

xoxox,

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ps. After looking for a killer photo like the one above, I am very much aware that I might need to write a little do’s and don’ts of abbreviated shirting. There is some really scary stuff out there. Stay tuned.

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